The Club

Two days ago, it happened again. Another family that I have some connection with (albeit not closely. I am familiar with the mother because she posts on Thebabywearer) found out that their child might have cancer. A mutual friend of ours asked me if I had any suggestions for what to do for the child and the family. I sent a list to her, mostly suggesting craft things for the child - something that will be fun to do when stuck in a room that he can't leave for days on end and gift cards for food and parking at the hospital. It is amazing how much you can end up spending just on parking (my friend Sally suggested gas cards, too, which was a great suggestion. We spent a ton on gas, but I guess because we were going to the same gas stations that we always went to, it wasn't so obvious as the 16 dollars a day we were spending on parking.). But as I was writing it up, I was amazed at how once again, I could feel the panic in my heart like it was my child. I could hear Dr. Sanders on the phone telling me the bad news as if it was yesterday. My breathing changed, my heart tightened. How I feel for the parents. They will never be the same, even if they are as lucky as we were and everything goes well and three years later they have a healthy child who barely remembers the experience. Before Max got sick, I would hear stories of sick children and they would make me sad but it didn't go past that. I couldn't relate to it. I hoped that the child would get better, but I didn't understand what it all meant for the family. It changes everything. Sally and I were chatting today about the worry. When does it go away? Does it go away? It has been three years of remission for both of us now, and yet we both dread the checkups. We talked about the fog that you are in after the diagnoses and through treatment. She described it as being in the twilight zone. I feel like I sleepwalked through a large part of a year. It was at least another year before I started feeling normal again. I still feel like I lost a part of me during it all and I don't think I will ever get that part back.

The bright part I suppose is that our perspective is different. The things that seemed big before often don't feel big anymore. Even Josh's job loss didn't seem as big a deal as it probably should have seemed. Maybe we worry the same amount as other people, but just worry in bigger chunks?

Thinking about it makes me tired.

I hope that little boy does well. I hope they find that it isn't cancer, and if it is cancer, I hope that he responds as well to treatment as Max did. I know how lucky we were. I count that blessing every day. I hope they are as lucky. May the fog lift for them quickly. Their son has the most amazing smile. May they see it often and may it bring them light. I know seeing Max smile and laugh made it easier for us.

Mostly, I wish nice families and children in general never had to face life threatening illnesses.

Where the Wild Things Are

Yesterday was a rainy day with nothing planned. Max decided to make hats. I am not sure what prompted this, but he started off making (with my help) a "knight's hat" and then moved on to a crown. After it was finished, he ran around the house with a stick that looked like a sword in his belt loop, wearing his hat. I look at him and realized how much he looked like Max from Where the Wild Things Are so I had Josh take some pictures. After the pictures, we went to the grocery store. The kids wore their hats (Lauren had a purple and white hat that she called a "square pirate hat" which was neither square nor resembled anything I have ever seen a pirate wear but she was happy). We got a lot of looks and several comments. The comments were all positive, especially from the many children at the grocery store that morning). I am not so sure that the looks were all positive, but the kids were happy and that is all that matters. What good is it being 6 if you can't wear a homemade paper crown to the grocery store.

Long Overdue

I have been a baaaaaadddddd blogger. I haven't posted in ages. I am not really sure why. Sometimes, it is just tiring to think about. Max's illness at times feels like a lifetime ago. I have long periods where it just feels like a bad dream that is starting to fade from memory. It is nice not to think about it all the time. Plus, as much as anything, not much has been going on. Max is doing great, for the most part. He loves school so much that he was not happy to have a long weekend over MLK weekend. He seems to be thriving there, though we still get the same old could do a bit better at focussing comments. He is the best reader in his class and is reading like crazy around the house, which I think is so cool. We went to dinner a few weeks ago when visiting my father and I was going to do what I typically do, which is look over the children's menu, decide what if anything was on there that I was willing to feed my children (sometimes I will have them order off the regular menu and split or get appetizer size things or split meals with them) and as I started to read the menu, Max said "I want a hot dog and chips." I stared at him for a second, and then said "oh yes, you can read the menu, can't you." So much for that trick. :) Prefirst has been very good for him, I think. I don't think he is overly challenged by the curriculum, but he doesn't seem bored, which is what I feared. He flies through his homework most nights, often finishing the entire week's packet in a short sitting the first evening. I have compared this to the workload that our neighbor's first grader (who went to K with him) and it is much lighter, which is nice for both of us. However, sometimes he rolls his eyes about it and mutters that it is just like kindergarten. They did a great job at his school last year. He learned to ski this winter and just finished 6 weeks of lessons. He did struggle a bit with it, and his instructor said it was because he lacked lower body strength. I was pretty surprised by this, to be honest, and am going to try to do more activities that involve building up the strength in his legs. I suspect there will be a lot of bike riding once the weather warms and the days lengthen, especially seeing as James will be old enough to ride in the trailer this summer so we can go out as a family (I haven't been on a bike ride since I got pregnant with Max and am really looking forward to it). His swimming has greatly improved and he can swim independantly now and will even go under water willingly, though only with goggles on. He is going to take one last swim lesson series this spring and then I think we will be done with swimming with him. He likes to play around in the water, but doesn't love it like his sister, so we will see if there is another activity he would rather participate in. We got where we wanted to get, which is he can swim well enough to save himself if he falls in. He is also doing Tae Kwan Do at the school where I work. The instructor offerred free lessons to teachers' children and I jumped on it. He really enjoys it and even got to break a board. I will see if I can get Josh to post some pictures of that as it was pretty cool, though unfortunately I missed it as I was teaching. This may sound like he has a ton going on, but we try hard not to overschedule the children. We took the winter off from swimming so that he could ski. I think two activities is plenty. Last week, one of my students was saying that she and another student had the same number of after school activities, 6. These were second graders. I just can't imagine. That sounds like so much for a child. I know that doesn't make me a normal American mother in this day and age, though. Hopefully he will not regret that we didn't have him in more stuff later in life.

As far as Max's health goes, he has been mostly healthy, but seems to be struggling with ear issues this winter as he did last winter. It is actually affecting his hearing and he saw an audiologist on Wednesday. She tested his hearing and he had hearing loss in both ears (he had failed in one ear at the pediatrician's office) but said he had some fluid in his ears and that another test showed his hearing was fine past the fluid point so she was not concerned. I hope the ear infections stop. I have no experience with them at all as I have never had any problem with mine and none of the children had them until Max started having trouble last winter. We will play it by ear (no pun intended).

I guess that is about it. I will try to add pictures later. He has grown so much. He doesn't at all resemble a little boy anymore, though sometimes he still just wants to be snuggled with and held. He seems to big compared to Lauren and James that it is easy to forget that he is just a boy sometimes. I miss him so much when he is gone all day, though. And I am grateful that he still likes to sit in a chair with me or snuggle at bedtime. I know that will pass far too soon and I try hard to treasure it.

Oh, and the long ago promised CBC stats from January:

WBC: 4.9
HCT: 35.9
HGB: 12.8
PLT: 196
ANC: 255

Some Things Don't Change

Wow, 6 months between appointments went really quickly. Max's check up is tomorrow. Where has the time gone. I have been really bad at posting. I suppose part of it is that everything has mostly seemed normal. Max is doing well. He has been healthy and settled into school and his illness so often feels so very far away. Sometimes I can't shake it, though. Today is one of those days. I have been on edge since Sunday, snapping at everyone, feeling tense, pacing, not being able to settle. I couldn't figure out why. You would think that with the kids back at school, things would be less stressful. Well, it struck me this morning. The appointment. Tomorrow. The closer it gets, the more wound I feel. Josh doesn't get like this. I am jealous of his ability to be so sure that everything will be just fine all the time. I keep hoping that I will be able to get like that again someday.

I will post tomorrow when I get home. I am sure it will be fine. There is nothing to indicate that it won't. He has another ear infection, I suspect, but other than that, he is healthy, his color and energy are good, no bruising etc.

I found myself snuggling with him last night at bedtime, remembering just how lucky we are that he is in our lives. Then I snuggled with Lauren and finally James. I am so thankful for all of them.

Happy New Year everyone.

Happy Holidays

I just wanted to take a moment and wish all of our friends and followers a very happy holiday season. Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, and support you have given us over the past few years. This photo was taken recently after decorating this year's Christmas tree and donning our traditional Santa's helpers hats. Max, along with his little sister and new little brother, really enjoyed helping Daddy hanging ornaments on the tree and we are all looking forward to a happy and healthy holiday season. We wish all the best for you and your family as well. Happy Holidays!

Toothless Grin

Max finally lost his first tooth about a week ago and lost a second one last night. He has a very cute (well, I might be biased) gap now. I told him that I wanted to get "a picture of the toothless grin." He asked Josh to take a picture, but somehow, between my telling Max and Max telling Josh, it became "a picture of the tooth coming in." When I walked in on the picture taking, Josh was trying to get Max to show off his gums and getting frustrated that Max kept making funny faces. After I corrected the misunderstanding, he was able to get a very nice picture, but the bug-eyed shots were actually really funny so I wanted to share one of both.

CBC - 07/24/2009

Dr. Ebb called us on Tuesday night to see if it was okay to change Max's appointment, so we went today. Max and James and I headed in this morning, took the T over to the North End for a quick lunch, and then headed to the hospital. It was an uneventful appointment. Dr. Ebb was thrilled with how well Max looked and sounded and said that if his counts were good, we could start going in every 6 months. Well, his counts were great, so we don't have to go back until January. That hardly seems possible. Max is thrilled.

I had to drag him out, though. Max loves playing there, and build stuff with a volunteer. It was a nice visit.

The most noteworthy thing that happened was his height and weight. He grew 6 cm since his last appointment and is now just shy of 46 inches, and gained almost 4 pounds. I was pretty sure he was going to show a weight gain. He has been eating everything in sight. People kept commenting on how big he had gotten and one of the nurses said his face had changed so he didn't look like a little boy anymore. It is very true.

There was a woman in there with her son, who looked to be around Max's age. They boy looked sad and scared. I remember that feeling. I just wanted to hug her. We are so very, very lucky.

WBC: 8.0
HCT: 35.9
HGB: 12.6
PLT: 186
ANC: 4540

He's 6!

Max turned 6 over the weekend. He had his first real "friends" party, and the kids all tie dyed shirts. It was a bit hectic, but a lot of fun, and at least our kids are thrilled with their shirts (and we did a dress for Lauren).

I can't believe that he is 6. Where has the time gone. He seems to be doing so well, though we have an appointment tomorrow and we will know for sure after that. Three years from yesterday, we found out he was sick, so this is always a bit of a difficult time for me, but I am trying hard to just be so thankful that the last three years have gone so amazingly well. I know how lucky we are. I don't always manage to do it, but I try hard to be grateful for every day that we have. We have three happy, healthy children. Who could ask for more.

I will post CBC counts tomorrow.

Kindergarten Graduation

This is going to be another one of those sappy, I can't believe we did actually get to see this day posts. I seem to be having a lot of them these days. That is probably because there is so little news these days that I get to talk about the good stuff. I wonder when I will stop feeling amazed that we got to see them happen, though.

Today, Max graduated from Kindergarten. I am not really one for all of these "graduations" from everything. It seems like there are graduations from everything these days, and I don't remember it being like that when we were children. Heck, my high school barely acknowledged that we graduated, figuring that the "real thing" was going to be when we graduated from college. So, I have kind of been brushing off the significance of the day. However, it really moved me. My little boy graduated from kindergarten today. He was so happy and proud. All the children were. The school did an actual program, with the kids marching in, performing some songs, including one in Spanish, and receiving "diplomas." How I managed to get through it without crying is beyond me, though it helped that Lauren was enjoying things so much so I was focussing on keeping her from running up to hug Max or grabbing her friend Nathan to dance to the music. James slept through it all. :) He is going off to prefirst next year. I know I talked about trying to figure out what to do. I think it is the right thing for him. I remember, before he got sick, hoping that he would be this amazing student. How I have changed. I want him to be successful, but it is so much more important to me that he enjoy learning and enjoy school. He certainly enjoyed it this year. May next year be the same.

Okay, now I am crying. :)

Emotions

Max has his first loose tooth. First and second actually. He hadn't noticed, but the dentist pointed them out. I am not surprised, as many of his classmates have already lost a tooth or two (he is one of the youngest in his class, but a couple of the girls who are his age have lost them, too.) I am surprised at how emotional I am about this, but it made me well up with tears of happiness. It is one of those odd little nothing things that I wasn't sure we would ever get to experience with him. I am always surprised at the things that hit me. It is rarely the big events, usually little things that I remember enjoying as a child. Apparently, loosing a tooth was one of those things.

Max is almost done with Kindergarten. He has two and a half more weeks. The year has really flown. He has gotten so tall and doesn't seem like my little boy most of the time. But, he still likes to snuggle at night and tells me he loves me. He adores James more and more every day. I love my little big boy so much.

2nd Anniversary

Two years ago today, Max stopped taking the cyclosporene. I can't believe it has been two years already. In some ways, it feels like a lifetime ago, yet it also feels like just yesterday. I look at him and can't believe how well he is doing. I still worry, I guess that may never go away, but he is strong and healthy and happy and we are so very, very lucky. Today the three kids and I went to Boston with Grandma and Grampa Rich. Grampa and Max went to the Museum of Science while the rest of us went to the North End for lunch first and then met up with them. Max had a blast and didn't even fall asleep on the ride home. He has so much energy and is so strong. We really need to take a trip on the Duck Boats one of the days. I still remember so clearly us watching them go on the river while in Max's hospital room when we first found out he was sick, and saying if we ever got out of there, I was taking him on the Duck Boats. But then, when we did, his immune system was not strong enough, and it was over a year before we could go, and it just never happened. I am going to make sure it happens this summer. He talks about them every time we are in Boston.

I think almost every day how lucky we are. I still can't believe it. Two years.

CBC-4/22/2009

Can you believe it has been three months? Where does the time go. Max had his checkup today, so of course he started it out with waking at 5:30 with an earache. We had Earth Day plans of taking the train in, but decided to drive in case he wasn't feeling well. However, he was fine the entire time. Dr. Ebb was over at the main hospital, so we saw Dr. Huong for the first time in a very long time. She is always very pleasant. She said he looked good, but took a look at his ear and thinks he has a minor ear infection. This was the fourth earache in the last couple of months, so I knew something was going on and was going to go to the pediatrician after this last one, so it was nice that she could look at it. He did not enjoy having his ear looked at, in fact disliked it as much as the blood draw, but other than that, it was a pleasant visit. The music therapist was there and he got to spend some time with her. She had all her big instruments with her and he even got to play a real harp. James was a sweetie for the whole visit and Josh took Lauren to the Aquarium to look at the seals while they waited (and apparently they also happened onto an Earth Day celebration which she loved). After the appointment, Max and James and I took the T to the aquarium and met up with Josh and Lauren. Then we walked to the North End and had pizza and then canolli. Unfortunately, by that time, our 60 degree and sunny weather had changed to heavy rain, so we went back to the T, took it back to our car, and drove home.

His counts were good. The 30th will be the 2 year anniversary of the last day of cyclosporene. Amazing.

WBC: 8.7
HCT: 36.9
HGB: 13.5
PLT: 198
ANC: 6070

His white count and ANC are a little higher than we usually see, though still in the normal range. This is probably because of the ear infection. His platelets and reds were great, though, which is wonderful given his history of having them drop when he is fighting anything. I couldn't ask for more.

Keeping a Family Tradition Alive

My father was a magician. He used to entertain us with many magic tricks. I always loved it when he did. He taught my brother and me many of the tricks, and my brother got to be very good at it (I wasn't too shabby but he did a lot more). Max has decided he is very interested in magic tricks and Josh's sister got him a book of magic tricks for Christmas. He has been studying the book quite seriously and a couple of nights ago, treated us to a surprisingly good performance of a penny trick. It was a ton of fun for all of us.

Max's Baby Brother

I posted about this on the family blog, but wanted to include something here, too. On February 5th at 10:35PM, we welcomed James Philip Mazgelis. He is a real joy, and after 9 months of me feeling more in shock about expecting another child, I feel so lucky to have him. Max has been thrilled since day one to be getting a new sibling, especially a baby brother, and he has been so great with him. He is proud and happy and can't get enough of him, not even complaining when I have to bring James to snuggle bedtime with me. He is going to be a really great big brother to James, just as he is with Lauren, despite their bickering.

We did successfully bank the cord blood. I used a birthing stool when pushing him out and gravity caused the poor midwife some grief for the collection, but Cord Blood Registry confirmed that they got a large enough amount.

CBC-01/20/2009 and Other Random Stuff

Wow, my last post was mid November. No wonder people are complaining. Sorry, we had a hard December, plus I am very pregnant at this point and just plain tired. Things have been pretty uneventful since my last post. Max has been doing really well, despite a 5 day stomach bug that started Christmas Eve. He managed to enjoy Christmas day despite feeling under the weather, though. His favorite gift - Spiderman Bandaids, though his R2D2 figure and a Lego set were close second. Max continues to love school and is learning tons. The bad news is that his teachers continue to express concern about his lack of focus and attention when things do not interest him. I have a bad feeling this may just be something that we deal with in school. He is obviously bright and creative, but if he isnt' interested in something (like coloring within the lines), he just doesn't do it. I am not sure if this is a result of us coddling him when he was ill or just part of his personality. It seems to worry me more than anyone else, though. But, that is how it works with mothers anyway, right? He and Lauren have been enjoying the snow storms we have been having, and helping their dad clear the drive with their new shovels. He got to go tubing with Dad at the end of the Christmas vacation, and gave it a big thumbs up. He is also very into Harry Potter, after spending many days at my teaching job during the week that school was closed here after the ice storm (they have a Harry Potter game on PS2 there and he has gotten pretty good at playing it). We are currently reading HP1 at night. It is the first time he has had any interest in a chapter book. When we are not reading HP1 to him, he is reading to us, as his reading skills are really taking off.

Okay, that is the wrap up. Now, today. We were supposed to go to MGH last Monday, but somehow I never managed to transfer the appointment from last years calendar to this years, and I just plain forgot about it until Wed. This is probably in a way a good thing, though, as it indicates that I am finally reaching a point where I am not totally stressed out about his counts. I rescheduled for today, and after forcing the kids to listen to inaugural broadcasts for the entire ride (much to Max's great dismay. Lauren just slept through it), we arrived to find that Max had grown two more cms, not gained anything (no big deal, he saves up his weight gain), and had fabulous results from the CBC. Dr. Ebb showed up with the Cord Blood Registry forms which he was supposed to fax when we were in 2 months ago, and faxed them to CBR. CBR has a program called the Designated Transplant Program in which they will store umbillican cord blood for a family member diagnosed with a life-threatning disease that could be treated with a stem cell transplant for free. We only have to pay for the currier's delivery fee. In order to be eligible, Max's doctor had to send in a form. That done, we headed home. Max's results were so good that we do not need to return for three months. I will try not to go three months without posting anything, though. :)

Oh, one cute thing. When Dr. Ebb was off at the fax machine, Max gave Lauren a complete checkup, doing all the same things that Dr. Ebb did to him. It was very methodical (though he told her he had to check her heels until I pointed out that Dr. Ebb checked his shins. But, when he looked, he knew he was looking for bruises) and fun to watch.

Here are the numbers. I got two print outs and can only find one right now and that one has the ANC, so I have to go by memory on that one.

WBC: 8.1

HCT: 35.6

HGB: 13.1

PLT: 221

ANC - around 4100 if memory serves. It was a great number.

While none of these numbers where the highest we have seen, I am pretty sure it as the best combination of numbers. Everything was well into the normal range. Usually at least one or two are on the lower end of normal or below. I am beyond thrilled.

A Boy and His Droid

Last weekend, Lauren and I flew to Georgia to visit a friend of mine and her family. Josh had told me that I should take a weekend off sometime, and she wanted us to come visit, so we did. Josh actually meant for me to leave both kids, but I thought this was a better compromise. It was actually very relaxing for me even with travelling by plane with Lauren, who, while a good traveller, didnt' sleep in either direction. Max was quite upset the week leading up to the trip when he realized that Lauren and I were going on a trip without him, and we dealt with a couple of days of bawling and begging to come along. I pointed out that he was going to have a special weekend with Daddy but he wasn't buying that. He wanted to go with us. I told him that he and Daddy would get to do special stuff, and had a few things in mind, but when I suggested them, he said they were things he did with me (zoo, museum, etc). I asked him what he liked doing with Daddy and he said "Working in his workshop" so I requested that Josh plan something for the workshop. We also promised him a nice dinner at his favorite restaurant (sushi, what every 5YO loves, right?). Finally, I bribed him with a trip to The Little Gym, which seemed to satisfy him, though we were still a bit nervous that Saturday morning would bring an anouncement that he was packed and ready to go. However, instead, he happily helped us check in and carry our stuff to security, gave happy hugs, and went off with Daddy. Phew.

While we were gone, they did have a great weekend. Max got to try a class at The Little Gym, which had been Lauren's thing (we have had to cut out most activities for financial reasons, including this, but hopefully we will be able to get back there one of these days), and he got his sushi and other fun meal experiences, but the highlight was working in Daddy's workshop. Max has been very interested in Star Wars. It is funny, as we have not let him watch it (you should have seen him when he discovered we had the original trilogy, but has accepted that we feel he is too young to see it) but many of his friends have, and so many kids are very interested in Star Wars. Max has been especially interested in R2D2, which kind of goes along with his interest in robots in general. It was a multiday project, from what I understand, and has gotten two coats of paint since these pictures, but both Josh and Max are rightfully proud. Now he wants to make an X-Wing fighter and a C3PO, which Max said is going to be bigger than him because the real C3PO is bigger than him (Josh is so excited about this, I am sure ;) ).

A side note: Max barely seems to have missed me while I was gone, which is probably a good thing, but it is very apparent that he missed Lauren. When we returned, he yelled "LAUREN!" as soon as he saw her and started running towards her (she yelled "Max!" and ran towards him while I cringed at the expected collision, but actually, they managed to hug without injuring each other) and couldn't wait to tell her all about his weekend. He was very disapointed when she fell asleep. I am glad they enjoy each other as much as they do.

CBC - 11/10/2008

We actually went longer than two months between appointments this time around, as we were scheduled for last week, but cousin Sophie's birthday was on the same day and we do have our priorities and wouldn't have missed that for anything. :) I had originally planned on taking Max out of school for the day and doing a whole Boston trip with him, but between a teacher's workshop on Friday, Veteran's Day tomorrow, and having to miss a day for the allergist a few weeks ago, I decided to just do a pop in and pop out this time around. It went well, except that I think next time I will try to go straight from school to the hospital because getting settled in the house before we left made for a difficult start. However, once we got on the road, we were in and out quickly.

Dr. Ebb saw us first thing today (probably because we were running late) and brought in two stethascopes so that Max and Lauren could have one to play with while he asked his normal questions: any illnesses, bruising, lack of energy, anything else notable, how has he been doing, how are we doing etc. Every time I go there, I am reminded how lucky we are to have him. I know he is incredibly busy, and yet he always takes the time with us. Then he looked Max over and said he looked great and said we could come back in 2-3 months. This was before getting the labs done, he just felt by looking at him that he would be in good shape. Oh, for those who remember that we never got the ANC last time, it was 1800. The nurse came in and did Max's blood draw, which was a lot less traumatic than last time. He had brought a bear to snuggle which seemed to help. He did balk at the first attempt, but I just gently held his arm and she did the draw quickly. While he complained for a second, as soon as it was done, he was all happy again, especially when he found out he was getting a Spiderman bandaid. Then, Lauren wanted her turn. I never thought I would be happy to say that she has a pediatrician's appt on Thurs, but never was a child so looking forward to seeing "my doctor."

Dr. Ebb and I talked about saving the cord blood, and he talked with one of the nurses who has a lot of experience with it and got a form from the Cord Blood Registry. He, as Max's doctor, needs to send them a letter. He said he would start the ball rolling, but suggested I check back in with him and make sure he remembered to do it. Then, I bribed the children to leave (seriously. They did not want to go, but I wanted to beat traffic) and headed home without the lab results. Dr. Ebb said he would try to call but that he had a family thing to take care of and if the labs came back before he left, to just call them.

Around 4:15 (right after we got home), I called the clinic and left a message and about 15 minutes later, Suzanne, one of the nurses, called with Max's labs. About 30 seconds after picking up with her, Dr. Ebb called my cellphone. I ended up talking with both of them because she had all the labs but he wanted to talk about the results. They were very good. His retic count was a bit high and his red count a bit lower than in the past (I think) which isn't a bad thing, but Dr. Ebb suspects that his counts dropped a bit when he was sick. The retic count shows that his body is making red cells to make up for it, so that is a good thing. I don't like that he still seems to drop when he gets ill, but at least his body is able to recover. This does indicate that maybe the slight paleness and lack of energy that I was worrying about a few weeks back may have been real, not imagined, but I am not going to stress that. The rest of his numbers were just fine. We are going back in January (we decided that seeing as the baby is due in early Feb, it would be good to have a mid Jan appt instead of waiting until mid Feb. I am sure Josh will appreciate this.

Sorry for the wordy post. I shouldn't blog when tired. But if I didn't, I would never blog.

Here are the numbers.
WBC: 4.6
PLT: 144
HCT: 34.9
HGB: 13.2
ANC: 2020

Oh yes, and the picture? When we got home, he wanted to play Spy, so he got in disguise, including wearing his new to him ski helmet and goggles (we can not wait to get the kids on skis this winter) which he has barely taken off since we got them on Saturday. Love the blond curls.

Chef Max

I think my last post was a bit heavy, so here is a more lighthearted one. :)

Max went shopping with me today, and while we were out, decided that he would cook dinner, and picked out hot dogs, tater tots, and peas. While this is not our normal dinner, I had to admit that the occasional tater tot is pretty darn good, and at least he picked out the good hot dogs so I went with it. When we got home, he had me make him a chefs hat, and went to work. With a little assistance from Mom and Dad because the stove and oven were involved, he put together and cooked the meal. After it was done, he carefully cut up Lauren's hot dog, plated all the meals, giving Josh about four servings of tater tots (I usually make a bag last two meals, but this was his party), and served everyone. It was really fun to watch, and he was very pleased with himself. Plus, there was no begging him to eat at all. What a wonderful evening.

Brief Update and Rambling Thoughts

I realize that it has been two months since I have updated Max's blog. Life has been so normal, for the most part, that sometimes I have a hard time coming up with something to write. He is happy in school and has been doing some enrichment classes and loving them. I miss him when he is gone, but also have to admit I like my kid free time. He is growing and making new friends and it is so nice to see him get to do all the stuff the other kids around us are doing. He and Lauren are best buddies and worst enemies often within minutes of each other, but they are more buddies than enemies and she misses him something fierce when he is gone, often asking if we can go get him. They spent so much time together only having each other that I think it has formed a special bond, one that hopefully will last a lifetime. He is eagerly antipating the arrival of his baby brother in February, and loves to talk to the baby and feel the baby move. It is so neat to see him interact with my belly. Lauren likes to kiss my belly, but Max really gets it, and can't wait for him to arrive. We will see if he is as excited when this new life arrives at home and gets a lot of attention. He has been struggling with sharing things with Lauren (but not other children) and gets really distraught if she gets a present that he doesn't get, often talking her out of her new toy so that he can play with it, which I think bothers me more than Lauren, but hopefully he will outgrow that. Sometimes it is very tempting to just get two of everything to avoid the issue but he needs to learn that all gifts are not for him.

We had a small scare a few weeks ago with him. His docs wanted him to get the flu shot, but because of his egg allergy, we had to meet with the allergist, whom we hadn't seen since before Max got sick. We were supposed to take him for a food challenge right around the time that he was hospitalized for treatment, but it obviously got pushed off, and Max had told me he didn't care if he never ate eggs, that he didn't want to do the test, so I had pushed it off. I figured it wasn't worth making him miserable over at this time. But, the flu shot made it an issue, so off we went. First of all, much to my great disapointment, he had a definite reaction to the egg test. But, the doctor also heard some wheezing and his pulse ox was low. He had had a cold the week before and still had a lingering cough, so I figured the wheezing was just from that (actually, I hadn't heard any wheezing, to be honest, but when the doctor said he heard it, I figured no big deal). However, the doctor was very concerned that this was the beginning of asthma. We have a family history of asthma, which might be why he jumped to this immediately. I had a hard time dealing with this, for some reason, and was really upset that he put him on albuterol right away. After 7 months of steriodal treatment, the last thing in the world I wanted was to give him another sterioidal drug, partially because of what it does to his moods, and partially because the drugs just are not good for the body. After four days of roid rage tantrums (I couldn't believe how fast it affected him), we saw the pediatrician who said everything was normal and not to worry about it, that it was likely just an upper respiratory illness and no big deal. We do have to follow up with the allergist a couple of times, but hopefully this will have been a non issue. It did give me just one more thing to worry about.

While the worry I feel has greatly diminished, it is still in the back of my mind at all times. I try to ignore it but sometimes it comes out. I have gotten to the point where I can give him a bath without overanalyzing every single bruise on his body (I think he is really sick of me asking "where did that come from" or "did you bang yourself here?"), but if he decides he needs a rest on the playground and the rest of the kids are still running, fear strikes my heart, even if he has been going none stop for five days. A red mark on his body makes me call to Josh to come and inspect it, and every time we get close to the next doctor's visit, I get more and more anxious. I actually look forward to his next appointment because I just don't like not knowing. I also worry about health insurance. Josh changed jobs a few months ago and because of a communication glitch, we thought his insurance got dropped and I was in a real panic. As it turned out, he wasn't dropped (though they did drop the life insurance, which I think we are still trying to work out), but I worry that if Max is ever one day without health insurance, he will never be able to get it again.

One last note for those who are wondering. Yes, we are going to bank this baby's cord blood. There is apparently something available for families in our situation where a new baby's cord blood could be life saving for an older child that will reduce the expense of banking, and Dr. Ebb is suppose to have that information for us at the next appointment (though he is a very busy man and I realize he may have forgotten, but we have a few months to figure this out.)

That is it for my ramblings. I guess it wasn't that short an update. :)

School

Sometimes it is hard for me to keep up with blogs, especially having two. I often have trouble these days deciding between posting here or at the family blog. I wrote about the kids' first day of school on the family blog, because Max and Lauren started together, and Max wasn't exactly great about letting me take pictures. So, if anyone is interested, click here to read about their first day.

Max seems to be really loving school. As many people know, we really agonized about what to do this year. He loved preschool last year and did well, but they recommended we have him do another year of preschool rather than move him into kindergarten, mainly for social reasons. He was still having difficulty waiting his turn to speak and listening and following directions in groups. For someone who was the center of attention for so long, this wasn't that surprising, and he definitely has difficulty waiting patiently for one of us to finish a conversation or talk on the phone when he wants us. However, he has been working to teach himself to read and has a real interest in math and science stuff and I worried that another year of preschool would bore him. We decided to send him to a private kindergarten this year because the ratio there is 13 students to 2 teachers, similar to last year, but the curriculum will be more advanced. Maybe this won't help him survive in the big public school next year, but hopefully it will work out. They do have a pre-first option at the public school, so if he isnt' ready for first grade, we have that option, too. However, he seems to be doing really well. I haven't had a chance to ask the teachers about how he is listening, but he is definitely absorbing like a sponge. The first evening, he called me into his room to show me "how we hold a pencil in my new school" and was holding his pencil perfectly, no more just grasping it. I have been encouraging him to do this off and on for months. He had his first Spanish class on the third day and greeted me with "Hola" and when we got home said "Gracias for picking me up, Mommy" which was both cool about the Spanish and nice to be thanked. :) Today, he was playing a game and I heard him counting in Spanish even though the game was in English. Late last week, after a week of school, he brought home a worksheet. They had been working on the letters in their names. (Well, I assume all the kids were not working on M, A, and X, though A was the letter of the week and M is the letter next week.) His sheet contained Ms, A, Xs and Ts. They were all neatly written. And, his X's looked like X's, not T's. I assume they had him doing both for comparison. This is another thing I have tried to get him to work on, though again, without pushing. I have been trying to get him to make X's that didn't look like Ts. This weekend, he was writing a book about Wall-E and had written the title out - WALL-E. His W, A and Ls were beautiful. His E still looks like it used to, but I was still amazed. This was not on line paper, either. It was just free form. I know this is a little thing, but it just showed me that this is working for him. And most importantly, he really seems to be enjoying it.

I have thought a lot about homeschooling. I did some when Max was not able to go to school, though how much "schooling" does a 3 and 4 YO really need, but I was prepared to do it as long as I needed to, and I have considered, if the school system in our town really doesn't work for him, homeschooling later on, though it would pain me to pay so much in taxes and not utilize the public schools (well, I guess we are doing that now). However, watching him absorb so much so quickly when I was unable to come up with a pleasant way to get those things across all summer makes me question whether I would be able to be effective. I suppose if I took it seriously, I would, or at least I hope I would. I know a lot of unschoolers as compared to homeschoolers would scoff at the idea that knowing the "right" way to hold a pencil or making neat letters even matters, especially at this age, but obviously it mattered to me, or I wouldn't have cared that much. Every time Max signed his name to something, I knew that the X wasn't a T but as his written language expands, it will be helpful to tell the difference. Anyway, it just got me thinking.