Some Things Don't Change

Wow, 6 months between appointments went really quickly. Max's check up is tomorrow. Where has the time gone. I have been really bad at posting. I suppose part of it is that everything has mostly seemed normal. Max is doing well. He has been healthy and settled into school and his illness so often feels so very far away. Sometimes I can't shake it, though. Today is one of those days. I have been on edge since Sunday, snapping at everyone, feeling tense, pacing, not being able to settle. I couldn't figure out why. You would think that with the kids back at school, things would be less stressful. Well, it struck me this morning. The appointment. Tomorrow. The closer it gets, the more wound I feel. Josh doesn't get like this. I am jealous of his ability to be so sure that everything will be just fine all the time. I keep hoping that I will be able to get like that again someday.

I will post tomorrow when I get home. I am sure it will be fine. There is nothing to indicate that it won't. He has another ear infection, I suspect, but other than that, he is healthy, his color and energy are good, no bruising etc.

I found myself snuggling with him last night at bedtime, remembering just how lucky we are that he is in our lives. Then I snuggled with Lauren and finally James. I am so thankful for all of them.

Happy New Year everyone.