Max's Thoughts

While Max was sick, he never really talked much about what was going on with him. I have always just assumed that he just figured that when you turned 3, you start getting lots of blood tests and eventually have surgery and get lots of meds and transfusion etc. He has never questioned it. However, he has started talking about his thoughts in the last few weeks. The other day, he talked to me about how he thought we were taking his blood to give to other kids who needed it, which I wrote about already. Tonight, he asked me a lot of questions about his surgical experiences and also about when he got a CAT scan. We were reading Curious George Goes to the Hospital, which he choose from the Bookmobile on Thursday. That really is a pretty great book for kids going to the hospital, even if it is pretty outdated. All the kids (and George) stay in one big room with nurses and their caregivers leave them for the night. I can not imagine what it would have been like having to leave Max every night when he was hospitalized. Anyway, we talked about xrays and he asked about his. I realized just how many he has had. I mentioned the CAT scan, which is one of the really traumatic things he has experienced. He was terrified of it. He never brought it up after that one day, though. However, he described it and what his thoughts were about the different parts of it. It was interesting to hear what it was like for him. He also talked about blowing up the balloon before surgery. For his first of the three OR surgeries, the had him blow up a balloon that had medicine in it to make him sleepy. He really hated it. I still do not know why, but he talked about it a lot tonight. We have been lucky, and the anethesiologists have been willing to not use the balloon after that one time. He told me it tasted like candy. I asked what he didn't like about it and he would not say. But, then he got kind of small and scared looking and told me that the next time he had surgery, he wanted me to tell the doctors that he only wanted to practice blowing the balloon up, not blow it up with the candy tasting stuff. I told him that I hoped there would not be a next surgery, but he didn't want to hear that. So I told him that I would tell them. He gave me a hug and seemed to feel better.

I wonder if we will get more of this over the next few months, and I wonder why it is coming out now. I am glad that he feels like he can talk to me about these things.